Working Things Out

My comments on the odd things that happen in this world

Sunday Night Blues May 16, 2010

Filed under: Comedy,Good Mood,Politics,Review,TYSIC — terrygreene182 @ 7:50 pm

I don’t know what it is about sunday nights but I get grumpy. I usually end up snapping at a family member and having to sit upstairs. So today I took the pre-emptive strike of moving up stairs directly after dinner(lovingly prepared by me) and will now spend the rest of tonight watching crap television. That is, after I’ve written this clumsily cobbled together blog of ideas.

Politics.

So we have a new government, conlib, condem, libcon, however you want to describe, and already it has caused controversy by the fact that it is two seeming polar opposite parties who have now come together for the next five years. The right-wing hate it, the left-wing hate it, but the fence sitters are surely loving it. Saying that they probably haven’t even noticed anything happening and probably didn’t even vote, the scum they are.

After the initial shock of what had happened, and once I had got past how creepy it was to see Clegg and Cameron in a garden laughing and joking, I finally managed to get my head in a balanced enough place to make my mind up. Although I would rather have not had the Conservatives in power at all, at least while they are there the Liberal Democrats can hopefully stop them from doing any of their more right-wing plans such as repealing the hunting ban(I hope).

For me David Cameron will never be the prime minister and for the next five years, or however long until the two parties start arguing, in my mind this country will have no prime minister. I know it’s a bit of a childish thing to do, but what is the point in living if your going to let go of childhood completely. I still talk to myself when no ones around, I talk to my animals as if they can understand me, and whenever they house is empty I do indeed dance like a champion.

What I’m saying is, don’t lose hope and faith with the Liberal Democrats, love them all the same, if you did that is, and keep supporting them. This is bound to give them a better footing for next time round and who knows the (spits on floor) Sun may even start supporting them at the next election. Although if that happens I shall then be voting for someone else. Maybe the Greens, I like them.

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What’s the difference between a bus and the BNP? A bus has got seats and is going somewhere.(Joke via Billy Bragg, our lord and saviour)


Productive Weekend.

I actually managed to do some decent things this weekend. I finished reading a book that had been sitting in my bag for months, and I’ve begun reading another.

The book I finished was Black Butterfly by Mark Gatiss. The third, and final I think, in the Lucifer Box series, and a brilliant end to what has been a wonderful set of books. I started reading them by chance, me being the type of person who buys a book because of the cover(or in the some cases the pages, see Popco and The end of Mr Y), and from the moment I opened the first page of The Vesuvius Club I was hooked. With a brilliant lead character in Lucifer Box, who is portrayed in such a charming and charismatic way that you instantly fall in love with him. These three books are not only well written, but are also truly funny and cause some laugh out load moments, which cause some odd looks while on the bus, and even moments of real tension. This is the first book that I have ever read while clenching my fist and willing the characters to victory. I urge you, if you have not yet read them to give them a try.https://i0.wp.com/img1.fantasticfiction.co.uk/images/n28/n142252.jpg

I’ve now start reading the brilliant Richard Herrings “How Not To Grow Up”, one chapter in and it’s looking good. Available for £6.99 on Amazon, and is currently top of the comedy charts, so let’s keep it there. Also while your buying that why not pop over to http://www.gofasterstripe.com and buy everything, not just Richard Herrings stuff but everything. It’s worth it.

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Also this weekend I finally sat down and carried on with the work I started months ago on some sketches. Credit Crunch BBC is my working title, and if anyone knows of a good place to send these sketches to get them seem, then any help would be greeted with nothing but graciousness, perhaps even a pint if I ever met you.

 

TYSIC Update A Start April 2, 2010

Filed under: Comedy,TYSIC — terrygreene182 @ 1:34 am

This should be the easiest post for me to write as it’s all mostly done I just have to paste it in and give a little background. Yipee! 

I should just explain that at the moment I am listening to the Ready For This album by Tim Minchin and really seem to lose it during this album and bang around with the tunes so there may be some parts of this post(the parts that I’ve not already written) where it doesn’t make sense, because I’m probably just going to be banging the keyboard along with the songs. 

So, back on subject, you may remember a couple of weeks ago, although it now feels like more than a month ago, I emailed a very friendly woman about Druids. She told me she would get onto someone to help me, unfortunately I had still received no other correspondence this morning so I emailed her back to let her know the progress, and received two emails back in quick succession. 

The first read: 

No, I’ve had nothing back from him yet either…
Will, try another prompt and then put my thinking cap on again. Keep reminding me:)
Marianne
 

You see, she put a smiley face in the middle of a message, that show’s she’s gotta be a nice woman and isn’t just mocking me, doesn’t it? 

She then sent me: 

I’ve contacted him again via alternative means! If he doesn’t get back to me this time, fairly quickly, I’ll try to think of someone else for you…
Marianne
 

So this seems like good news in my book. Obviously her unreliable Druid friend was cleaning a lamb or something. But who knows, soon I could have some better information than what I have at the moment. 

Now this evening I wrote up my notes into some readable stand-up form, only problem being I’m having trouble on writing any links so right now it’s just several disjointed paragraphs that I need more information to fill in the gaps, but I will paste what I’ve got so far. I will just point out, the last few paragraphs were rushed because I trying to get it done before Question Time because I’m cool. 

DRUIDS 

Now I’ve recently been looking into Druidry, not because I want to join, I can’t grow a beard so they wouldn’t accept me, and in that respect they’re like Al Qaeda. But because their more fun than the normal few religions, with their crazy naked rituals. Of course you wouldn’t see any naked old men in the modern church. They just hitch up their robes. 

I read a brilliant book about the druids…druidi…..druideses…..?  Now the lady who writes it want’s you to take something that means a lot to you, and in her words leave it “(said in a soft voice)snuggled into the crook of a tree, thrown into water or (said in a jolly upbeat voice)left at a charity shop on the way home”. I don’t trust her! 

I should explain first of all that this book was basically a beginner’s guide so not many people are going to read this unless they want to become a Druid. So what I’m thinking is, she can easily find out who buys it and follow them all until they leave their item wherever, this being the point she then creeps in and steals it like a druid Gollum. 

The scariest thing about this introduction is at the end she says don’t read anymore until you’ve let go of what you treasure. It feels like a threat to me, I had to look over my shoulder in the library just in case she was behind me with a rock. Casting a spell or sacrificing a squirrel. (Some form of mime with a squeak at the end/possibly even change it to meerkat as we would all like to here simples cut short) 

Their god! They call him the old fellow. Is described in a fascinatingly accurate way. 

He is slim, around 70, a little under six-foot tall, with long white hair, and a long white beard that tapers to a point. Or Dumbledore for short. 

The thing is they are a massively accepting belief so I kind of feel bad saying some of these things, they don’t care about your race, age, sex, or sexuality. Although they don’t mention height so I bet they hate midgets. Either that or they’ve had to rule them out due to accidental sacrifices thinking they were children. 

Like all religions they have their crazed fans who often make alters in their houses to show their commitment to the cause. Much like teenage girls who fill their wardrobes with pictures and candles, and if they a real fan, a lock of their hair or a bit of their skin. Which kind of makes me wonder, is Jason Donovan a Druid god? 

“Bowing to the moon, saluting the sun and stars, greeting the trees, offering thanks for food and water, blessing a soul in distress” or as we call these people, tramps. 

Many use herbal medicines as opposed to, you know, real medicine. I’m guessing this is why you never meet any as their all to ill to leave the house. 

  

Well it’s a start at least, cheers for reading, Byeee.

 

The Return Email March 22, 2010

Filed under: Music,TYSIC — terrygreene182 @ 11:35 pm

Getting back from work today I quickly opened my email to find a message from a friendly sounding woman, with the subject Comedy Druids 🙂, which I felt was just a wonderful subject. Although looking back at this, if I didn’t know what the email actually says that does seem a little bit sarcastic in a kind of, “Oh so you think we’re just here to be laughed at do you” kind of way.

Luckily though it wasn’t and this is what she wrote,

Dear Terry
Emma forwarded your mail to me.
I’m going to try and contact one of the musicians and performers that I know and see if he will contact you.
If for any reason he doesn’t contact you. Come back to me and I’ll see if I can find something else for you.
Marianne Westwood
Office Manager
TDN

When I first read this through I got a bit confused as to why she felt that a musician or performer would help me more, but thinking about it now, and with a little help from a few cans of cider, I feel that they probably would have a better understanding, and be able to help me more in presenting the information in a better way that I would, although I’ll make sure that whatever I am told will be completely reworded by me.

Only a short post today but I felt I should keep you wonderful people updated.

Also while your here why not check out the songs Radar Detector by the Darwin Deez, and Photoshop Handsome by Everything Everything. I can’t get enough of these tunes at the moment.

Thanks for reading!

 
 

TYSIC Progress

Filed under: TYSIC — terrygreene182 @ 12:42 am

Over this weekend I have made some progress on my TYSIC, which can only be good.

Finally, after a lapse week, I went back down to the library yesterday and collected the books that I’d ordered. After spending a few hours in there reading and making notes, I was left with some notes that I feel I should be able to make into a short routine about Druidry, but it’s a start at least.

And tonight I sent off an email to find out some more information about this faith,

Hello there,

I am an aspiring writer and comedic performer currently devising my first show about the religions that are not now considered as major faiths. This meaning very ancient religion such as the Greeks, all the way up to Druidry.

After seeing many shows and routines concerning issues in what are classed as the major religions, I felt that not enough time, if any, was really given to what is considered the smaller, or in some cases, dead faiths.

This being a comedic piece, I was hoping you would be able to furnish me with some of the more quirkier, for lack of a better word, beliefs and acts that take place throughout all the different strands of Druidry. I am emailing to find out this information as I feel getting the bare facts from a book I would only be able to present these in a two-dimensional form, whereas I would very much like to present the information in a comedic form but backed up with information on why these things happen or why they are believed.

It is my belief that people can learn better through comedy than just through people presenting the facts to them, so I would be very pleased if you could supply me with some information that I may be able to use in my piece.

Thank you for your time,

Terry Greene

I just hope that I get a reply to this with some good information. I felt I worded it in a respectful enough way.

*

This week I only have two days at work and then two weeks off so that will mean many more posts, I hope, and will also mean I should get a lot more work done as long as I can apply myself.

It might happen!

 

Always Something March 17, 2010

Filed under: General,Music,TYSIC — terrygreene182 @ 11:38 pm

There is always something to write. At least that’s what I’ve told myself

Over the past week or so I haven’t bothered trying to update this blog because I couldn’t think of anything to write, or I started something but couldn’t think of where to take it, but today I decided to set myself another challenge on top of my already mounting list of personal challenges that I’ve already set, and the main challenge of getting something, if not lots of stuff published.

I pledge to you, that I will update this blog at least three times a week, if not everyday.

I came to the conclusion today(I’m sure I’m not the first) that this is meant to be challenging and hard, it is the ten-year self-improvement challenge after all. So when I sit there thinking of ideas and nothing comes to me for 10 minutes I shouldn’t just think there’s no point and concede to try again the next night, but actually press on and achieve something each time.

****

Now I’m sure many of you have heard the new Ke$ha song Blah Blah Blah, and I hope we all agree it is a truly ok song, but I have an issue with a particular line of the song.

I just want to point out I read the lyrics just after writing that sentence and realised it’s much worse than I originally thought. So now it’s time for a full song dissection(flashy lights, alarm going off)!

Coming out your mouth with your blah, blah, blah
Zip your lips like a padlock and meet me at the back
With the jack and the jukebox

Now I can only assume that she’s dropped something, perhaps a hair clip , and it’s escaped her grasp under the jukebox, so she’s asking a nice young man, who perhaps talks a little much, probably because he’s nervous meeting a pop star, to bring a car jack so they can safely, without damaging themselves or said jukebox, raise it up and she can retrieve her much-loved hair clip.

I would also like to point out that you can’t zip a padlock, the clues in the words.

I don’t really care where you live at
Just turn around, boy, let me hit that
Don’t be a little bitch with your chit chat
Just show me where your dick’s at

Very pleased with how this kind gentlemen has helped her she clearly wants to give him some kind of reward, so asking him to turn around she gives him a complimentary pat on the bum, but he is still rambling nervously, so after asking him to be quiet she decides to find out where his dick is at. This, I can only assume in total innocence, clearly means he is involved in some kind of amateur production of Dick Whittington, and Ke$ha, clearly a fan of the theatre, is interested in seeing this production.

Music starts, listen hot stuff
I’m in love with this song
So just hush, baby, shut up
Heard enough

Obviously meaning that this particular production is a musical reinterpretation.

Stop, talk, talk, talking that blah, blah, blah
Think you’ll be getting this nah, nah, nah
Not in the back of my car, ah, ah
If you keep talking that blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
Boy, come on give me rock stuff
Come put a little love it my glove bag
I wanna dance with no pants on
Meet me in the back with the jack and the jukebox

After a pleasant evening they decide to go back to bar where they first met as she is clearly interested in seeing the geological rock collection they had, but while there she spills a drink on herself, completely soaking her jeans. Needing somewhere to dry she comes up with the cunning idea of putting them into her glove box, but as she is doing this her favourite song comes on. This obviously being why she wants to dance while wearing no pants. Unfortunately as she dances she loses her precious hair clip again, and the jack comes into play again.

So cut to the chase kid
‘Cause I know you don’t care what my middle name is
I wanna be naked but you’re wasted
Music’s up, listen hot stuff
I’m in love with this song
So just hush, baby, shut up
Heard enough

Now as their night comes to an end the poor guy has drunk a little bit too much and is a little tipsy, unfortunately this is the same time that Ke$ha wants to go to bed, so, thinking on her feet, she decides that if she plays a song she loves enough it will wake him from his drunken slumber.

I feel this is an accurate deconstruction of the true meaning of this song. We’ve all had nights out like this. Who knows, perhaps in the future the two could meet again under different circumstances and perhaps become good companions, and they will look back at this silly silly night and laugh. Oh how they’ll laugh.

Ok, maybe I looked at that in a little too much detail, but it was better than my first thought. What woman calls her special lady area, or the vagina as it is otherwise known, a glove box? If you do please let me know and I will retract this statement. I just feel it’s an odd place to keep gloves, I mean surely you wouldn’t want to wear them afterwards.

Thanks for reading this through, hope you enjoyed it.

 

Outpouring March 15, 2010

Filed under: General,TYSIC — terrygreene182 @ 10:52 pm

I don’t really show much emotion on the outside. I’m a quiet person in general, although I often put on a front, but generally I would be more that happy to spend days in complete silence. I don’t have many outlets of emotion in my life, I pack boxes for a living which doesn’t exactly bring a need for much brain power.

I spend most of my days walking around work with nothing going on upstairs, because if I start to think about what I’m doing with my life, and how it feels like I’ve ended up I will go mental. Some of the people I work with seem content with what they are doing, but I can’t comprehend this. How can you be happy with just coasting along in life, making no change, and spending most of your time doing something that you don’t enjoy.

That’s why I started this blog, because I wanted to get what I enjoy out,and finally begin my journey on the path to what I do want to do. I am determined over the next few years to properly knuckle down and start doing some real work. Not packing insignificant things, into insignificant boxes. But actually starting to write something of substance.

As I write this I see what I am doing, I’m simply procrastinating. I’m stopping myself from getting on with what will actually make this possible career start, but that’s what I always do, I put off the important stuff by filling my life with things that I know aren’t going to make any difference to me. I’m forever putting other causes above my own, and I would much rather help someone else before myself.

I know I have to stop this and put myself first for once but I’m scared of failure. I don’t want to spend months feverishly writing away, jotting ideas down, getting full scripts and articles together, to then have everything I’ve done turned down. I know I shouldn’t think like this, but as I’m sure most people know, it’s easy to tell yourself something, harder to believe it.

My challenge for the next week is to actually write some things, and them send them out. I’m still working on the ancient religions idea but that’s going to take a few months, so for now, when I’m not working on that, I want to start writing odd little sketches. If anyone knows of anywhere I can send these sketches that would be much appreciated, or I could take the viral route and get some stuff up onto YouTube. If anyone can act, or has some experience with filming and editing that would also be a massive help. Just send me a message and I will probably be in contact.

Thanks for reading this little explosion of emotion, I promise to keep it inside in future.

Peace and love to you all.

 

I Enojoyed It March 14, 2010

Filed under: Film,General,Newspapers,TYSIC — terrygreene182 @ 2:12 pm

I’m sad to say yesterday I finally went and saw Avatar (in 3D of course) and, please don’t hate me when I tell you, I rather enjoyed it.

For the first 10 minutes of the film I pretty much sat there, not paying much attention to what was happening in the film, and just thinking “Ooh, doesn’t it look pretty”. But once I managed to keep my concentration on the actual film the plot sucked me in. And of course the pretty colours helped.

It was refreshing to see a film that a massive amount of work has obviously gone into, and an unspoilt vision has been able to get to the screen without being ripped apart my producers who don’t think the message will sit well with the general public. For once the makers of a film weren’t being condescending to their patrons, instead putting across a well thought out idea with messages in it. Those being destruction bad, environment good. Even the mention of Earth being a dead planet with no green hasn’t put people off.

Now I’m not going to be one of the many people who becomes obsessed with this film, as I did really like it but I didn’t love it beyond belief as many people seem to. All I’ll say is, if your not going to watch it because you don’t want to be sucked in, this being why it took so long for me to see it, then stop listening to yourself and go. See it in the cinema as opposed to on a television.

Saying that I am never going to watch the Twilight films!

                                                                                                                                                                                                    

Earlier this morning I saw an advert for The Daily Star, only this wasn’t aimed at its usual male readers, this for the half a million readers it said already bought they paper. Who are these women! I have never seen a woman even look at The Daily Star. Women are better than that. Maybe once you get past the tits, the stories are fascinating reads, but then so is Goldilocks and The Three Bears.

If you’re looking for more good reads then you should try http://www.richardherring.com/warmingup/ written everyday by the wonderfully funny man Richard Herring, it is well worth a read.

Thanks for reading people.