Working Things Out

My comments on the odd things that happen in this world

Sunday Night Blues May 16, 2010

Filed under: Comedy,Good Mood,Politics,Review,TYSIC — terrygreene182 @ 7:50 pm

I don’t know what it is about sunday nights but I get grumpy. I usually end up snapping at a family member and having to sit upstairs. So today I took the pre-emptive strike of moving up stairs directly after dinner(lovingly prepared by me) and will now spend the rest of tonight watching crap television. That is, after I’ve written this clumsily cobbled together blog of ideas.

Politics.

So we have a new government, conlib, condem, libcon, however you want to describe, and already it has caused controversy by the fact that it is two seeming polar opposite parties who have now come together for the next five years. The right-wing hate it, the left-wing hate it, but the fence sitters are surely loving it. Saying that they probably haven’t even noticed anything happening and probably didn’t even vote, the scum they are.

After the initial shock of what had happened, and once I had got past how creepy it was to see Clegg and Cameron in a garden laughing and joking, I finally managed to get my head in a balanced enough place to make my mind up. Although I would rather have not had the Conservatives in power at all, at least while they are there the Liberal Democrats can hopefully stop them from doing any of their more right-wing plans such as repealing the hunting ban(I hope).

For me David Cameron will never be the prime minister and for the next five years, or however long until the two parties start arguing, in my mind this country will have no prime minister. I know it’s a bit of a childish thing to do, but what is the point in living if your going to let go of childhood completely. I still talk to myself when no ones around, I talk to my animals as if they can understand me, and whenever they house is empty I do indeed dance like a champion.

What I’m saying is, don’t lose hope and faith with the Liberal Democrats, love them all the same, if you did that is, and keep supporting them. This is bound to give them a better footing for next time round and who knows the (spits on floor) Sun may even start supporting them at the next election. Although if that happens I shall then be voting for someone else. Maybe the Greens, I like them.

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What’s the difference between a bus and the BNP? A bus has got seats and is going somewhere.(Joke via Billy Bragg, our lord and saviour)


Productive Weekend.

I actually managed to do some decent things this weekend. I finished reading a book that had been sitting in my bag for months, and I’ve begun reading another.

The book I finished was Black Butterfly by Mark Gatiss. The third, and final I think, in the Lucifer Box series, and a brilliant end to what has been a wonderful set of books. I started reading them by chance, me being the type of person who buys a book because of the cover(or in the some cases the pages, see Popco and The end of Mr Y), and from the moment I opened the first page of The Vesuvius Club I was hooked. With a brilliant lead character in Lucifer Box, who is portrayed in such a charming and charismatic way that you instantly fall in love with him. These three books are not only well written, but are also truly funny and cause some laugh out load moments, which cause some odd looks while on the bus, and even moments of real tension. This is the first book that I have ever read while clenching my fist and willing the characters to victory. I urge you, if you have not yet read them to give them a try.https://i0.wp.com/img1.fantasticfiction.co.uk/images/n28/n142252.jpg

I’ve now start reading the brilliant Richard Herrings “How Not To Grow Up”, one chapter in and it’s looking good. Available for £6.99 on Amazon, and is currently top of the comedy charts, so let’s keep it there. Also while your buying that why not pop over to http://www.gofasterstripe.com and buy everything, not just Richard Herrings stuff but everything. It’s worth it.

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Also this weekend I finally sat down and carried on with the work I started months ago on some sketches. Credit Crunch BBC is my working title, and if anyone knows of a good place to send these sketches to get them seem, then any help would be greeted with nothing but graciousness, perhaps even a pint if I ever met you.

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Turn That Frown Upside Down. May 11, 2010

Filed under: Comedy,General,Television — terrygreene182 @ 10:09 pm

And I’m back, after almost a week of no posts I felt I’d better poke my head above ground, but what with the election I have been either busy, or tired. Seriously, massively and literally(bet  you’ve seen that used in the right context in a while) tired.

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I feel that I need to tell you all something before I go on to the main chunk of this blog. A pensioner stayed awake longer than me. That’s it, breathe in and settle yourself. David Dimbleby is a god. He spent 17 hours on TV and I had to sleep for 5 of them, I say sleep, it was a drunken stupor. And can I just say I have never felt more British than when I woke up, put on some shorts and a hoodie with the hood up, rocking from foot to foot. headache pulsing, eyes not fully open due to the hangover, jaw hanging open, while I looked at the television to see the queen while some classical music played in the background. And that my friends, is what it means to be British.

*

So it’s been a big day which has left a lot of people with a sour taste in their mouth, but don’t worry I’m here to cheer you up with a specially written letter, which is probably in slightly bad taste but I’m sure it will raise a smile.

Any persons mentioned in the next piece are completely fictional and anything they share with real people is completely by coincidence even if it is spot on life.

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A letter from Captain Birdseye to the World.

Dear The World,

Hello there, it’s me Captain Birdseye. I know it’s been a while but I’ve spent a lot of time in Cambodia of late doing sunbathing and all that.

I just wanted to say sorry for, you know, taking your kids and all that. Maybe I should have found a proper crew for my ship but what with shipping duties, I just couldn’t afford to pay them so I felt the best way was to just steal all the children off the Isle Of Wight, but it was for their own good really, I gave them thumbs.

All the kids were fed well, with plenty of omega 3. I even showed them where fish hide their fingers, just under the third gill from the top on the left, but don’t tell anyone.

Okay they may have all died on our final voyage but it was worth it. I finally managed to find the mythical waffle, and besides you have to forgive me for anything I’ve ever done now because I’ve got cancer like that Jade Goody, yeah that’s right. Also my agent, Max Clifford, has asked me to say that I would very much like you to respect my privacy, but I will be releasing daily updates even if there is no change, but it’s ok, it’s not sick because I’m doing it for the children, so that’s alright then.

Hugs and Kissed, Captain Birdseye.

 

Kick-Ass April 5, 2010

Filed under: Comedy,Film,Review — terrygreene182 @ 10:27 pm

Gather round children, it’s time for my first proper attempt at reviewing something, hopefully I’ll be able to make something worth reading. So for my first review of the week I present to you

Kick-Ass

Directed by Matthew Vaughn(previously of Stardust and Layercake, so not a great start) this comic book teen comedy has been bigged up by the press so much that it has a lot to deliver. Luckily in my eyes it does.

Described by The Daily Mail as “twisted, cynical, and revels in the abuse of childhood” and given a one star review, this pretty much seals the deal on how the film experience is going to be. Fucking great. It’s the type of film that has you leaving the cinema smiling, which is rare for a cinema experience that combines action with comedy. 

With a young cast, this film is acted superbly and with conviction from each and every actor.  Even Chloe Moretz, as the young hit girl, is perfect in her role(and as a rule I dislike children). Much has been made about her use of the word cunt. Have these people never listened to children talk, they say much worse!

Back on topic.

It’s simply a film about finding yourself, as are most teen films, but delivered in a genuinely funny and different way. It’s rare to see a superhero film about an ordinary person, who isn’t a millionaire(Batman), bitten by a radioactive spider(Spiderman), a millionaire(Iron Man),  exposed to radiation(The Hulk), or  mutants(X-Men), but just an ordinary teenage boy who is fed up with the world, as are most of us are.

This film is obviously going to be a huge hit, and it deserves to be, even Nicholas Cage gives a good performance, his first one since Lord of War. An equally very good film I suggest that you check out if you have not seen already.

The main problem that people keep on mentioning in their reviews is the lack of character development throughout the film. All I can say to that is the fact that the timeline of the film is only a few weeks. How much more mature and developed do people become in three weeks.

Now I hate to come back to the Daily Mail review but I feel I have to as I just went back onto the site and had a read through again. They’ve now added a video to the bottom of the page that pretty much praises the films and at the end even tells the other superhero film makers to look at Kick-Ass and learn some lessons from it. Nothing like sticking to one view in the same paper, although I wasn’t expecting much.

Unless you’re looking for peadophilic aspect then there isn’t one, their review says much more about Christopher Tookey(the reviewer) than it does about the film.  Plus after doing a little bit of digging I found an article where he praised the film Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging. So clearly a little bit lapsed in the mind department.

Thanks for reading this rather haphazard attempt at a review, it probably would have helped if I’d written on the day I’d seen it and not two days later but that’s the best I could do for now. Anyway, come back tomorrow for a review of Ghost Stories. I’m sure that will be better as I’m still getting nervous about having my back to my room when I sleep incase there’s a ghost.

 

Plan For The Week April 4, 2010

Filed under: Comedy,Film,General,Gigs,Television — terrygreene182 @ 10:23 pm

This week, along with all my normal ramblings that I know you all love so much, I’m going to be doing four reviews, hopefully if I can keep my mind on task these will be in-depth, well researched reviews, not like the Daily Mails(snigger snigger snigger).

Sorry, what’s that? Oh you want to know what I’m going to review, well get yourself a cup of tea, settle down with a blanket, and put your reading glasses on because I’m going to tell you in the next sentence. I shall be discussing(I feel that’s a better word for what I will no doubt write) the new film Kick Ass, the new Doctor Who, the new Jonathan Creek, and the been in the theatre for a month now Ghost Stories. I’ve seen each of these over the weekend and felt you all deserved the right to delve into my awkward mind.

Over this week, more than likely over the next four days, I am going to be posting up my musings about each of these subjects, and hopefully they’ll make some of you want to go and see Kick Ass and Ghost Stories, and if you haven’t seen the latter two, watch them on the BBC Iplayer.

This is just a short post for the day as I didn’t get to post yesterday, or the day before I think, but I’m looking forward to a good week of blogging, even though I’m back at work on Tuesday and have no more time off till August.

Thanks for reading.

 

TYSIC Update A Start April 2, 2010

Filed under: Comedy,TYSIC — terrygreene182 @ 1:34 am

This should be the easiest post for me to write as it’s all mostly done I just have to paste it in and give a little background. Yipee! 

I should just explain that at the moment I am listening to the Ready For This album by Tim Minchin and really seem to lose it during this album and bang around with the tunes so there may be some parts of this post(the parts that I’ve not already written) where it doesn’t make sense, because I’m probably just going to be banging the keyboard along with the songs. 

So, back on subject, you may remember a couple of weeks ago, although it now feels like more than a month ago, I emailed a very friendly woman about Druids. She told me she would get onto someone to help me, unfortunately I had still received no other correspondence this morning so I emailed her back to let her know the progress, and received two emails back in quick succession. 

The first read: 

No, I’ve had nothing back from him yet either…
Will, try another prompt and then put my thinking cap on again. Keep reminding me:)
Marianne
 

You see, she put a smiley face in the middle of a message, that show’s she’s gotta be a nice woman and isn’t just mocking me, doesn’t it? 

She then sent me: 

I’ve contacted him again via alternative means! If he doesn’t get back to me this time, fairly quickly, I’ll try to think of someone else for you…
Marianne
 

So this seems like good news in my book. Obviously her unreliable Druid friend was cleaning a lamb or something. But who knows, soon I could have some better information than what I have at the moment. 

Now this evening I wrote up my notes into some readable stand-up form, only problem being I’m having trouble on writing any links so right now it’s just several disjointed paragraphs that I need more information to fill in the gaps, but I will paste what I’ve got so far. I will just point out, the last few paragraphs were rushed because I trying to get it done before Question Time because I’m cool. 

DRUIDS 

Now I’ve recently been looking into Druidry, not because I want to join, I can’t grow a beard so they wouldn’t accept me, and in that respect they’re like Al Qaeda. But because their more fun than the normal few religions, with their crazy naked rituals. Of course you wouldn’t see any naked old men in the modern church. They just hitch up their robes. 

I read a brilliant book about the druids…druidi…..druideses…..?  Now the lady who writes it want’s you to take something that means a lot to you, and in her words leave it “(said in a soft voice)snuggled into the crook of a tree, thrown into water or (said in a jolly upbeat voice)left at a charity shop on the way home”. I don’t trust her! 

I should explain first of all that this book was basically a beginner’s guide so not many people are going to read this unless they want to become a Druid. So what I’m thinking is, she can easily find out who buys it and follow them all until they leave their item wherever, this being the point she then creeps in and steals it like a druid Gollum. 

The scariest thing about this introduction is at the end she says don’t read anymore until you’ve let go of what you treasure. It feels like a threat to me, I had to look over my shoulder in the library just in case she was behind me with a rock. Casting a spell or sacrificing a squirrel. (Some form of mime with a squeak at the end/possibly even change it to meerkat as we would all like to here simples cut short) 

Their god! They call him the old fellow. Is described in a fascinatingly accurate way. 

He is slim, around 70, a little under six-foot tall, with long white hair, and a long white beard that tapers to a point. Or Dumbledore for short. 

The thing is they are a massively accepting belief so I kind of feel bad saying some of these things, they don’t care about your race, age, sex, or sexuality. Although they don’t mention height so I bet they hate midgets. Either that or they’ve had to rule them out due to accidental sacrifices thinking they were children. 

Like all religions they have their crazed fans who often make alters in their houses to show their commitment to the cause. Much like teenage girls who fill their wardrobes with pictures and candles, and if they a real fan, a lock of their hair or a bit of their skin. Which kind of makes me wonder, is Jason Donovan a Druid god? 

“Bowing to the moon, saluting the sun and stars, greeting the trees, offering thanks for food and water, blessing a soul in distress” or as we call these people, tramps. 

Many use herbal medicines as opposed to, you know, real medicine. I’m guessing this is why you never meet any as their all to ill to leave the house. 

  

Well it’s a start at least, cheers for reading, Byeee.

 

Days Off March 27, 2010

Filed under: Comedy,General,Gigs,Television — terrygreene182 @ 5:38 pm

Since my last post I’ve had a couple of days off from doing anything that means I will have to use my brain, and again tonight, I shall be doing the same, but for now I best felt an update on what’s been hip hop and happening (I’m still down with the kids) was in order.

Soooo Thursday morning I woke up thinking “Cor blimey I can breathe” thinking I should get into charachter before I left for that there London. Yes, my cold, although still kind of there, had mostly gone, leaving me able to breathe through my nose, and to not need a warm drink every half hour. Sitting on the train, I risked it and listened to The Collings and Herrin podcast, just hoping I wouldn’t laugh out loud, luckily, I managed a few chuckles but nothing to loud and obvious. 

After meeting my friend we decided to head to the studios so we knew where we had to be, unfortunately, as we crossed one of the many bridges over the Thames, the sky opened and we got drenched, but did find a bar full of men in suits to have a pint in till the rain stopped.

Seeing The Bubble studio, it kind of spoilt the view, especially when you can see right round the edge to the back of the studio, obviously I know it’s not filmed in a small room like it looks, but I can dream. There’s nothing like having that homely feeling when you’re watching a television show.

Nonetheless, it was a hilarious couple of hours, which got massively cut for good reason I’m sure, as there were several points that probably would have cause some narrow-minded person (was gonna use the C word there, but I’m trying to use it less) to complain.

Robert Webb was hilarious and it was great to see him and David Mitchell playing off each other. Miranda Hart, as always, was brilliant, and just made me love her more. Shappi Khorsandi, was funny, although seemed a little quieter than the other two.

So that was thursday, as for yesterday, well that’s simple to write about.

Good curry, good cider, good company, and a good comedy DVD(Bill Bailey’s Remarkable Guide To The Orchestra).

Tonight I have a night down the pub planned, so there is a high chance I will get in drunk later and either make a post or be massively annoying in the Late Night Club on the forum.

I’m hoping this coming week to actually get on with what I had planned and actually get some work done, I just have to stop procrastinating like this.

Thanks, byeeee.

 

Sickness March 24, 2010

Filed under: Comedy,General,Gigs,Television — terrygreene182 @ 8:06 pm

Everytime I get near to time off work I get ill, my body hates me.

Waking up yesterday morning I had that feeling of there being something stuck between my nose and throat, hoping it was just a tickly cough I ignored it and trundled off to work. Coming home 8 hours later my throat was killing me, I had no energy, and I have no idea how I’ve produced the amount of mucus which has been streaming out of my nose since last night. Yum!

But alas, I must ignore this tomorrow for I have tickets to see the filming of The Bubble so you may hear me coughing on fridays episode. In the bubble this week there are the very funny Shappi Khorsandi, Robert Webb and, my favourite, Miranda Hart. I honestly cannot wait for this, plus my friend is coming down to see it with me and I haven’t seen him in ages.

So yes, I am now on “holiday”, nearly two weeks to myself, and during this time I’m going to be doing some real work that I actually enjoy. These next two weeks I want to begin the first draught of my show, this means I have about 5 books that I need to complete, I need to send off many, many emails to people in the know about my chosen subject.

This calls for a list!

  • Go to the Bubble
  • Read/skim the books from the library for relevant information
  • Search for relevant experts
  • Email relevant experts
  • Wait for replies from relevant experts
  • Start, if not finish, first draught of show

 

Almost forgot, in just under two weeks I’ll be going to see Ghost Stories at the Lyric Theatre, honestly can’t wait for this, I just hopes it’s as good as people are saying.

*cough cough sneeze