July 12th 2011 appears to be the last time I actually wrote something of artistic merit, since then it’s feels as though I’ve just been working solidly for 2 years.
I spent a year not reading newspapers, trying to avert my mind from the constant page after page of depression. Did this make me a happier person? No, it just left me slightly out of touch and having to blag my way through certain conversations.
It’s also a lot harder to get back into it than you would think; I’m still struggling with it. You would think as a homosexual I’d be all read up on the topic of gay marriage. I’d know who the key players were, who was coming down on either side, time lines, conflicts, wins and losses. To be perfectly honest I couldn’t tell you anything.
The only part of the debate I’ve really heard came from Lord Tebbit, I’m not sure anyone could have avoided his levelled, well thought out comments that really rang true with the whole campaign.
“When we have a queen who is a lesbian and she marries another lady and then decides she would like to have a child and someone donates sperm and she gives birth to a child, is that child heir to the throne?”
“It’s like one of my colleagues said: we’ve got to make these same sex marriages available to all. It would lift my worries about inheritance tax because maybe I’d be allowed to marry my son. Why not? Why shouldn’t a mother marry her daughter? Why shouldn’t two elderly sisters living together marry each other?”
The easiest way to read that is Lord Tebbit googled the wrong thing and ended up spending half a day surfing through the depraved corners of the internet trying to find the sickest thing he could to make him infuriated about the state of the world. Seeing one thing online and deciding that’s what everyone else stands for and deciding he was a loan crusader against lesbian queens, artificial insemination (all I can think of is the royal turkey baster), and incestuous marriage.
The thing to note with the incestuous marriage part is that the marriage isn’t for love, it’s to avoid tax, so the man so vehemently trying to defend marriage against the evils of gay sees marriage as a business transaction.
But so what if Lord Tebbit did just search out a depraved video on the internet to use as a generalisation, we’ve all done that sort of thing. I’m sure this year we’ve all purposely opened a retweeted link on twitter, or a shared link on facebook, knowing it’s a Daily Mail article that is just sure to infuriate us. We can all clearly see from the headline what the article is going to be and on which side it is going to fall, why are we still reading it? It’s anger porn, that’s why.
The REAL reason middle-class mums love Aldi (and it’s nothing to do with award-winning tea bags and bacon…but everything to do with the booze aisle)
Translated: We’re going to judge you for drinking, not because we don’t drink but because our alcohol is expensive where as you drink poor people’s alcohol.
The real life Shameless: Family-of-nine say people who don’t think they should have £2,500 3D TV paid for by benefits can ‘f*** off’
Translated: Ha look at their living conditions, now let’s get angry about something they’ve got through a pyramid scheme.
Controversy in Cannes as top honour awarded to film with lesbian sex scenes ‘that leave nothing to the imagination’
Translated: Oh my god, a film about empowered women, why not calm your nerves by clicking on one the stories on the side bar where we abuse women for looking slightly different just to make ourselves feel better.
By the way, this isn’t me defending Lord Tebbit, he’s 82, I doubt he even knows how to google something. I can’t see anyone having the patience to sit with him and show him how computers work. It would be more infuriating than introducing a nun to a rabbi and trying to get a filthy, hedonistic love going, much in the same vein as the 2002 film Secretary. (That video has to be somewhere online)
What I’m really saying with this post is that I’m back, hopefully, as long as I can keep this momentum going. With some hopeful changes in my life soon that last sentence may actually be the truth. I’m going to start getting into politics again, and reading the news, in fact just reading in general, in the last 2 years I’ve only read a handful of books and I feel slightly ashamed by that.
Before I finish I just want to update you on a couple of bits.
First of all I went to the ARG(actually rather good) Comedy Festival a few weekends back and saw many comedians who up until that weekend I had never seen or heard anything of before. Although hard to pick highlights out of 2 days of top comedy there were some particularly perfect moments.
John-Luke Roberts singing Patricia Routledge over and over again while the Lana Del Rey song ‘Born to Die’.
Colin Hoult’s amazing imagination bought together for his new show Charachthorse.
The ramblings of Joe Lycett, with my particular favourite story of the car full of rowdy young men.
Bridget Christie proving once again sexism is still rife and needs to be battled against.
And of course the perfect end to the weekend, the riotous Pappy’s Flatshare Slamdown. Tom’s stage dive is possibly the most painful laugh I’ve ever had.
That’s all for now but thanks for coming back and reading what I had to write.